A Coward's Guide to One Piece
by Empress of Trash
Summary: Waking up in One Piece is every fan's dream. Supposedly. As far as Veah is concerned it is a living nightmare. She is poor hero material and she knows it. So she takes herself out of the narrative. Or tries to. A different kind of SI-OC/self-insert in One Piece.


She was pretty familiar with the usual _One Piece_ self-insert story rules. Some unsuspecting, but strangely competent fan manages to catch the attention of some R.O. B., who was usually an asshole, and went off to have adventures with the Strawhats. The character managed to help save the day and help improve the story, while befriending everyone.

 _She_ did not get some nice warning from a R.O.B.. And really _why_ would all these omnipotent beings be spending their time fulfilling fannish wishes anyway?

 _She_ woke up to someone pressing down on her chest with enough force to break bones and what felt like a gallon of saltwater forcing its way up her throat.

 _She_ woke shaking and feeling like she had been dragged through a sander, her throat burning and her voice gone.

 _She_ woke wet and terrified and almost having died. Almost having _drowned_ , of all the nonsensical ways, with strangers all around her dressed in identical white and blue uniforms.

 _She_ had no warning. No explanation. And no magical assistance or even mocking note to explain her waking up on a strange naval boat manned by the oddest marines she had ever met.

 _She_ spent days alternating between terror and illness as she quickly grew seasick on the rocking boat.

 _She_ had to spend the following weeks learning the language everyone spoke that sounded vaguely like Japanese at times.

 _She_ had to spend months earning her keep by breaking her skin cleaning, pricking herself as she learned how to sew, and pissing off the cook by stumbling her way through being his assistant.

 _She_ almost died when said cook smacked her on the head at full strength and gave her a concussion, knocking her out before she learned _everyone else_ , even the weakest chore boy, was seemingly a hundred times more durable than her.

 _She_ had to find out that pirate were a thing when the ship was surprised during the night and she was useless, her best punch having seemingly no effect when she was surprised and dragged into being a hostage.

 _She_ had to deal with the horrifying feeling of blood and brain matter splattering on her face when one of the kinder men, a sharpshooter, took out the pirate who was holding her hostage and traumatized her in the process.

 _She_ had to deal with the return of old nightmares blending in with new ones as the gunshot took her back to another one and the blood on her face changed from the pirate's to her mother's.

 _She_ had to realize, at long last, where she was when she came down with a fever, unable to take the constant weather changes.

 _She_ had to face this discovery as her heart failed twice and she hallucinated, horrible images from her past and nightmares alike.

 _She_ had to hear the phrase "Grand Line" in startlingly clear English, as the sad-eyed doctor shook his head at the younger officers, who had gotten friendly with her despite the language barrier and began to see her as some kind of ship mascot.

 _She_ had no hope of finding the Straw Hats in the bosom of the navy and no desire for more adventure.

 _She_ fought tooth and claw through her illness and this and the scars from her work, despite her "delicacy" earned her the affection and respect of the men she traveled with.

 _She_ found herself at Marineford with promises of "taking her back home", made by Commodore Green with a friendly pat on her shoulder and invitation to stay with his family in the surrounding town, while he took care of business.

 _She_ learned that her explanation of being from "Eastern United States" had been misunderstood as being from the East Blue.

 _She_ remembered how devastated the East Blue became by dangers and how dangerous this world was in general. How corrupt and horrible.

 _She_ remembered the island of Ohara, Flevance, the Gray Terminal, Dressrosa, Alabasta.

 _She_ had realized she was weak and on top of that a coward. She would be a poor protagonist.

 _She_ convinced the Commodore to get her a job at Marineford.

 _She_ became a janitor, twenty years before _One Piece_ was due to begin.


End file.
